Alone on the Internet: the Art of Internet Discussions

The world wide web is a big place and it can hold many people. Many people and their many ideas, art, opinions and jokes. It is a great way to reach out and get to know people from all over the world, and from all different walks of life. This sounds like an ideal place, but some view the internet as their own little playworld and woe unto those who disagree with them. Can you hold a decent discussion without resorting to drama?

What you post online, is online, and is readable to anyone. That means that you can expect people to read your stuff and have an opinion about it. You may not like it, but that is how it is. You probably have an opinion right now about what I have written so far. At least, I hope you will have an opinion by the time you read all of it. And having an opinion is great, as long as it goes a little deeper than 'I hate what you wrote', 'I love what you wrote' or 'You are such a stupid idiot'. Writing about your opinion is a wonderful way to communicate and to see another point of view. Posting an opinion online, with a good foundation, will not only get your opinion across, but will also get people to express their opinion.

A discussion is nothing more than two opinions being pitted against each other. It can be heated, and tense, but it should never be abusive, presumtious or threatening. Ultimately comparing your opinion with someone else is not a competition you strife to win. It is a way to come to an understanding and respect for someone else's view point. If you are only interested in people who agree with you, it's probably a bad idea to post something online. Especially if people have the opportunity to leave a comment. If you have an opinion to share, be ready to hear someone else disaggree with you.

You can't lay claim to a corner of the internet and only allow those who suck up to you to agree with you. Even if you don't allow people to comment on your blog, or journal, or site, they can still read what you say and write down their own opinion anywhere online. If you truly detest other opinions, don't express your own.

Now that I have made my point, it may be a good idea to look at how discussion can be fun and productive. Be reasonable, be calm, do not write down nonsense, stick to real arguments and not playground 'but I am right anyway' statements and above all: be polite. In general the first person who reverts to strong language has lost. Know when to walk away from an argument about who is right and who is wrong. And keep in mind that even though someone may seem to argue with you, that doesn't mean they disagree with your point. Maybe they just disagree with your statements and arguments. Instead of blaming those people of being mean and nasty and bashing you, look at what they wrote and really read it. Learn from it.

If you don't stick to the simple polite rules, you will end up in the center of a lot of unnecessary drama. If during a discussion you come to the conclusion you were only partly right, or maybe not right at all, acknowledge that. If the other person starts calling you names, walk away. But don't walk away from a discussion because you don't know how to make your next argument stick. Don't walk away because someone is smarter than you and caught your mistakes or flaws in your argument. Be gracious and acknowlegde that too. If you want to express your opinion online, you need to learn to deal with all of the things I mentioned. So learning from someone who has more knowledge will only help you form your opinion better next time.

Sounds too complicated? Maybe. But like I said: if you don't like people who disagree with you, don't express your own opinion. But if you express your own opinion smartly, even people who don't agree with you will respect it.

P.S. Yes, I turned the comment system on. I won't censor any comment that isn't abusive or spammy, so go right ahead!